Failure… Real or a Lie?

by | Nov 19, 2020 | Failure, Motivation | 0 comments

The quote says, “There is no failure except in no longer trying.” (Elbert Hubbard 1856-1915).

Well, there is an interesting thought! Of course, FAILURE is real, right? I have logbooks of ALL my failures, and I’ll bet you do too. So, it must be real as we have proof. Right?

The religion I grew up with was Roman Catholic and it was pre-Vatican II. The message I got growing up was “I was a bad, evil person. With any luck, I could, maybe, possibly eek into purgatory if I fast and flogged myself for my whole entire life.”

How about that for a message to embody!!! Connected to that message would be “making a mistake” is bad. One of the defenses I developed was to be perfectly perfect so that maybe, just possible I could eek into purgatory. That means, mistakes were unacceptable. If I made a mistake, “I” was a huge failure. Then the question or behavior became: “if I make a mistake, I will fail, so I won’t try.” Pretty tough rules to try and live under and not conducive for a happy life.

What is your thought process? Are you caught up living in rules handed down to you?

The threat of a thought system like this, enables the owner to try half-heartedly then give up or just not bother trying. Just feel the heavy weight of “why bother.” Have you ever said to yourself, “I can’t do it,” or “I’ll try but I doubt it?”

I lived under the system for a long time. I finally figured out that I “had to” and eventually I “chose to” learn a different way. Let’s do a reframe.

What if the thought system was misguided? There are two parts to the system I adopted. One is being fundamentally unworthy. The other part is, in order to “be worthy” requires impossible hoops to jump through.

I have come to learn that I (you and me) are worthy beyond measure. We have no idea how wonderful we really are. That may be a good thing.
And we are here on Earth to learn. We are in lesson, all of us.

What if life really is a game? I mean this with no disrespect for life. It’s a game, just like the video’s our kids play. I would watch my boys play video games. They would do some moves and BLAM, their Avatar is dead. Hmmm. Back to the drawing board and try again. BLAM, their Avatar dead. Then they get with their friends. Someone has a TIP that they need. They try again and pull out the TIP and it works! Yeah. Then BLAM their Avatar is dead. Next they found a book (this was really before widespread internet, and they had to rely on books) with strategies. They would try and try and get better, move up levels and be in joy.

Let us move the game model to life. I think this is what we are here to do. It is a game to help us be a better person and build a better world. In “The Game”, we find ourselves in all kind of situations with the goal to figure out what we are going to do to survive, be healthy and happy. This requires information of old, while using new and creative options.

If this is so, then we will be learning and trying, making lots of mistakes and trying again.

Are you a person who is normally willing and game to try and try until you succeed? Or did something happen to you that just took the wind out of your sails? Do you get stuck, spinning your wheels and say, “why bother?” If we could see on the ethers, we might see the effects of our actions or lack there of.

Do you remember the weight of “why bother” you experience? What would that be like? A weight? A heavy blanket? A fog? Something else? ________ (fill in the blank). What could that feeling look like in the ethers or spiritual planes? I’m seeing dark, dingy, wet, constricting, smothering and hopeless. What would you add to that seen? This is what we get when we fall into the hopeless of choosing to not try.

Alternatively, walking into HOPE and getting help with our “trying” feels so much different. There is a lightness to it even among any fear we might experience.

When we won’t even try, we all lose, you, me and the world. There is such a hole when we don’t show up. The challenge is to pick a worthy end goal, get help and TRY. It might be baby steps at first. So what. If it takes you 50 years to do it, so what, you did it.

Is motivation a challenge? Do you find that you have motivation in some areas of your life and not in other areas? Do you want help with motivation and goal achievement? I recommend a book** by my friend James Thurston RN: The Grab Method. It is short, sweet and to the point. Might be just the tool you need. Also consider coaching. You may have your favorite coach or try me. Contact me below or at marypat@marypatfitzgibbons.com

** I am grateful if you click on the book link. It’s an affiliate link and I will receive a small payment with your purchase. Thank you

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