Back in the day… do you remember making a mistake and getting corrected? What did that feel like to you? How was correction given to you? How did you handle correction?
There is a variety of ways to learn and grow. One way is to explore, experiment, adjust and implement. You have an interest. You explore it, experience it. Did it work? Did you like it? What do you have to do different to make it work, make it better?
A more traditional way of learning is through programs like school. Parents enroll you in school. You want to learn something and enroll in a program. Then the instruction starts. You take each set and apply it, hopefully getting the right answers.
For many of us, wrong answers and poor results were handled by judgement and degree, back in the day. Many of our teachers believed in the ruler rule. Make a mistake and get hit by the ruler or yardstick. You are shamed in front of the class. You are assigned to write the correct answer a hundred times or stay after school or get grounded.
How did that feel? Did it work?
Many of us who grew up under the ruler rule have challenges with day to day have to get it right/perfect mentality. It can really slow us down and prevent creative inquiry and progress.
Have you ever had the experience of a good teacher/mentor? One who encouraged rather than “corrected”? Lets say we’re working with math. You get the wrong answer. BUT the first two steps in solving the problem, you got right. This mentor praises you on the correct steps and helps you to figure out where you went wrong and make it right.
A good teacher/mentor can be found anywhere. I had good girl scout leaders who encouraged me. I was motivated and able to make First Class Scout which was the highest I could go back in the 1960’s.
What about bosses? I have had a variety of leadership styles from bosses.Some were tyrannical. It was like revisiting Catholic grade school. Totally thwarted any kind of creative career growth. Many were neutral. I’ve had several very encouraging leaders.
One leader and I went to the same master’s program. We studied together and graduated together. That was fun and very collaborative.
My last leader was probably the best manager I have ever had. I grew up under ruler rule. I often work under terror of making a mistake. That is no way to live and work, makes for a lot of illness producing stress. When you are under a lot of stress, you don’t think well.
I worked as a RN Care Coordinator in a physician’s office as part of a large health system. There are many facets to this position including patient teaching, helping hospitalized patients, helping families who had senior parents living in here in need of care, etc. As big systems go, decisions are made at higher levels, and the professionals aren’t included. You are given the dictate and have to make it work. My leader had a wonderful view of system, our office and my ideas. She was able to help me slow down and take things step by step. Something that isn’t necessarily my strong point. As a result, I was very motivated. We created a wonderful working relationship in this office for doctors, staff and mostly patients. I loved this job. I also watch how my leader worked and marveled at the results for me and everyone.
We can all learn how to use encouragement to uplift everyone.
Encouragement fans the flames of ideas, interest and inquiry. (Oh, I should coin that)! Encouragement opens the creative heart and mind. People know their answers deep inside. We just need encouragement to get quiet, get into alignment with ourselves and answers will start popping up.
This is the role of a coach. As coach, I listen for your wants, desires, struggles and hold the safe space for you to explore your answers. If you are struggling with life decisions, consider coaching. Consider working with me. I offer a free thirty-minute exploratory call to see if we are a fit. I invite you to work with me.