Who is feeling stuck? I am feeling very stuck at the moment. I’m spinning my wheels, and not completing my goals. Are you feeling stuck as well?
Here we are, trying to do something and it is not working. Sometimes the steps are simple like 1-2-3-4. Other time is looks more like 1-a-b-c-d, 2-a-b-c, 3-a-b-c-d-e. And somethings it is 1-a1-a2-a3.
Why is that? Some days we are in flow and other days not so much.
Wouldn’t it be nice to be in flow and ease all the time? Hopefully you are saying a big “YES”. Read on.
What happens to derail us? We start off with a goal. Could be simple like creating a report or big, like starting a company. It looks and sounds good. We know it is a challenge but think we can accomplish this goal. We may have an idea how to do the task and decide to tackle it. We may decide we need some help. That help may be in the form of education or mentorship or coach google.
Yet, there we are at our desk with pencils, paper, computer… and we are stuck. Check the email. Call a friend. If home, you change the laundry, and time flies by with little or no action.
Let’s think about the energy around being stuck (constricted) or flow (expansive). Everything in life has a cycle. If we break it down to the tiniest piece, everything is expanding or contracting.
Think about a time when you are feeling really good. Your heart is open. Everything seems to fall into place. You make all the traffic lights. Your coffee place has your morning joe ready. You are on time for the meeting which goes well. This is an experience of expansion.
Expansion feels like being in love. Everything is rosy. Everyone is beautiful. It feels good.
Now think about a time when you weren’t feeling all that great. The nagging headache, feeling gray and gnarly inside and out. You hit every traffic light. There is a back-up at the coffee house. You are late for the meeting, which doesn’t go well. This is an experience of contraction.
Contraction feels ugly. Everything looks and feels gray and stormy. Life feels like a struggle.
Be aware that life is a series of expansions and contractions. It would be well if we learned how to live with this process.
Some metaphors for this cycle is our four seasons: spring, summer, fall and winter. Another example is our wake-sleep cycle. Look at being awake as expansion and sleep as contraction. While awake we do life and while asleep, we recover. Oh, yes. We need that recovery down time.
While expansion is great, we need the contraction as well. This statement warrants being said again. We need the contraction to integrate what was experienced on the expansion. We need the down time for recovery. The body needs recovery. The mind needs recovery and the soul needs recovery.
Expansion and flow, along with contraction and recovery are affected by many things. Simply, it is about balance. We can first look at how balanced we are physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually.
Then we need to look at the balance we have in our relationships. Relationship is a connection, association or involvement. The realm of relationships include relationship with yourself, family, friends, work, money, play, and spirit.
I’m going to create a series of blog articles on the topic of being stuck and getting unstuck.
For today, think about expansion and contraction. What part of this cycle are you in currently?
Are you in an expansion? What does that feel or look like to you? Where in your body do you feel this? Do you like the feeling of expansion? Do you do activities to prolong and expansion period? This might look like adding a number of activities to your calendar or to-do list.
Are you in contraction? What does that feel or look like to you? Where in your body do you feel this experience? Do you like the feeling of contraction? Do you try to do things to mitigate the contraction like stay up late or do that one more task?
Are you in a pause? Ever been on a carnival ride? You are going up to the peak of the roller coaster and just before the decent, there is a pause. Do you remember what that feels like? For me, that pause is like being momentary suspended in space. The same is true in an expansion/contraction energy cycle. At the peak of expansion there is this “pause”. It is a sweet place in which to relish what you have just experienced. Time to pack your bags for the contraction, which is coming. It is the going home to recover, if you will.
Are you in a pause after a contraction? You have integrated all the experience from the previous cycle. Sleep time is over. It is that moment when everything is still before the start of the day. What does this feel like to you?
I invite you to think about the expansion and contractions in you daily life. What does it look like, feel like, sound like? Can you be friends with each part of this cycle? If you can, great. If not, can you hold the space that someday you could be friends with each part of this cycle?
I would love to learn how this article lands with you, my reader. Please make a comment.