The dictionary describes resilience as the “capacity to recover quickly and adapt to change.” When faced with the inevitable hardships that life will bring, you need to be resilient to overcome the situation. What about your core values and beliefs when faced with adversity? Adversity is an opportunity to redefine, change, strengthen and commit to your core values. Doing this reevaluation will hopefully help you update your beliefs to more self-enhancing living statements.
Here are five critical facets of resilience:
Self-Awareness
Self-awareness is a key component of resilience. It includes correctly identifying one’s strengths and weaknesses to identify areas for improvement. It can help you build resilience by providing you with an awareness of what triggers you and how you typically react to certain situations. Identifying your strengths and weaknesses can provide you with an understanding of what triggers you and how you usually respond to certain conditions. You may be surprised by how much more information this provides for your growth.
A way to start with self-awareness is at the end of each day. Many people review their day at they wind down from work or before going to bed. This is a very good idea and I invite you to start this practice, with compassion. What went well? What could be better? What were your emotions? What would you like to change for next time? A helpful way to do this is in a journal. That way you have reference.
Self-Confidence
Self-confidence gives you the ability to cope with difficulties and challenges in life. It gives you the power to overcome your fears and limitations. It is also an essential part of your mental health, which can be seen in how you interact with others and handle demanding situations.
Most likely, self-confidence will waver during a set-back. Now you are in a situation that you didn’t expect or don’t know how to handle well. Here is a learning opportunity. It may take you a moment (or months) to gather yourself to begin anew. This recovery, if you will, helps to build your reserves like being able to think, and stamina. Take the time you need. As you do, and you muddle through, you will learn. As you learn, your confidence will build and be stronger.
Self-Compassion
Self-compassion means supporting yourself with the same understanding, kindness, and care you would give to a friend, loved one, going through a difficult time. Remember, this understanding of yourself and your limitations is without being overly critical or judgmental. There is a spot in neutrality to hold “critical thinking” and “judgement.” Maybe you really messed up. So be it. That is life. What was going on for you at the moment? Are there some actions or thinking that you can change in the future? When we beat ourselves up, rational thinking stops. Emotions run high, hormones change, and we go into the stress response, fight, flight, freeze, or fawn. Nothing good comes from these states.
How to teach yourself self-compassion? When you catch yourself on the mental berating wheel, stop. Ask yourself how you would handle a friend who is doing this. How would you give them some grace? Next, extend that kindness to yourself. With practice, this will become a practice. By cultivating self-compassion, you build up resilience and learn to take better care of yourself in any moment.
Where have you needed some self-compassion recently? How did you do with self-compassion?
Social Support
It is believed, and many studies show that social support can help people with chronic illnesses, improve their quality of life, reduce the risk of suffering from mental illness and build resilience1. Friends and family members can provide social support. Look to your church, mosque, temple, or synagogue for support. Do you have a coffee clutch or girlfriend or couples’ group that you belong to. Maybe you have a meet-up group, or dance group, whatever. Ask and receive. Also, supportive online communities can be helpful. When my friend was ill, a friend set up a meal train and local folks could provide meals for the family. There was a way to do a donation or sign up in a slot to have a meal delivered. In addition, online communities offer a sense of belonging to people going through difficult times in their lives.
Self-Efficacy

Drying catnip in oven.
Self-efficacy is the degree of confidence, trust, or expectation an individual has for being able to carry out a specific behavior successfully. Individuals with high levels of self-efficacy often outperform those who don’t. When people believe they can control their environment, it increases their sense of control and reduces stress levels. Self-efficacy also helps people feel more connected to themselves, others, and the world. Self-efficacy is learned. Maybe you are new at gardening. You’ve never dried herbs. Self-efficacy is knowing that you don’t know and look it up! Google is my friend. Then you do the task. I had a bunch of catnip in the garden. It is time to renew the bed as winter in our growing season in SW Florida. So what to do with catnip for the kitties. I dried them in the oven and my cats are very happy. Of course they sampled and approved.

Mikey guarding the catnip.
Taking the time to learn or incorporate these facets of resilience will help you grow more and become a stronger person. These facets work together to help you flourish and reach your full potential. Developing resilience can be challenging, but it’s definitely worth the work.
Where are you on this check list? I would love to hear your thoughts. Please comment.
Are you needing more information or help in building your resilience? Check out my book on Resiliency for Success. If you want a discovery chat click here.
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